Working Girl Blues

Time goes on.
Usually without thought
of buried feelings, hurts, inner angst.
Easier to ignore, push down,
gloss over, keep busy,
'don't worry, be happy'.

Then life interrupts the peace,
serenity of the days
in a small or large way.
Dredges up the inner, the hidden.

I've come to acknowledge and accept
the necessity for this growth process in my life.
But sometimes (like right now)
it irritates the hell out of me!

Why always growing?
Growth brings pain.
I thought I'd be grown by now.
Why isn't there ever a becoming?
Ever an arriving?
Ever a finish?

Always more learning.
More erupting from deep.
More hidden...
surfacing.
Surprises from within.
Rarely good.

More work to be done.
Truths to be faced.
Hopefully overcome.
Dealt with-maybe eradicated.
But always more.

Sometimes a rest from the knowing.
But always the return.
From the depths.
The chore of discovery.
The facing of innermost secrets.
I keep from myself.

I think it will only stop when I stop.
So, I'll reluctantly welcome the process
for the rest of my life.