Getting better everyday.
It's over.

Yearning never stops.
It's over.

Missing his touch.
Over.

Try to ignore and just go on. Tell myself I'm lucky.
Dodging that bullet!

But once in awhile, just once in awhile.
I'm there in my head.

I breathe him in, my mouth on him, his mouth on me.
So close behind him, so close behind me.
Moving against him, flush from our dance.
He's kneeling over me-stretching my limb, mouth warm and wet.
On my toes, foot, leg.
More sensual, more moving,
Than anything I've known.

Never will be another him for me.

It's been five months without that man. Most days I'm happy. Today the car wouldn't start. Called
AAA. They sent a little boy who knew the basics but not much more. He got me started and I went to
an auto parts store. "It's not your battery, ma'am." Great! Could happen again-who knows. Stopped 
at Staples and bought a computer chair. Tears just came on the way home. I needed to sort through 
my feelings and out came this poem. My daughter read it and said it reminded her of Dr Seuss.

Why am I surprised,
By this sadness and tears?
I've grieved for so many,
For so many years.

I know there are good days,
I know there are bad.
So why the surprise,
That I'm feeling so sad?

I know by heart,
How grief comes and goes.
Some days you feel happy,
Right down to your toes.

Some days you don't think,
You'll be normal again.
But tomorrow will come,
And it eases the pain.

So I'll just cry,
And I'll welcome the tears.
The warm, cleansing rain,
Falling into my ears.

I'll know they're God's taxies,
To cleanse away sorrow.
And when I wake up,
It will be tomorrow.

Be careful what you wish for,
I've always heard it said.
"Don't want a relationship," I murmured,
As I took him to my bed.

Should've told him, "I'm afraid
to love and try to trust."
I didn't really know my heart,
Thought lust would be enough.

I thought there was another,
He was seeing at the start.
Decided I could handle it,
Wouldn't break my heart.

I didn't know that we would be
Together for so long.
The weeks and months turned into years,
Love for him grew strong.

Suddenly I started feeling
Anxious and alone.
Panic and depression,
The cause I thought unknown.

Til I read those words,
That in a moment, changed my life.
She said I didn't know her,
But she was his ex-wife.

He'd called her a few weeks ago,
Told her we were through.
Said that he would pick her up,
In an hour or two.

She stayed the night several times,
Shared our common bed.
Somehow she knew I was still there,
Despite what he had said.

So she wrote and sent the letter,
That cut me to the core.
That hurt my heart and ended us,
We will be no more.